Patience Is A Virtue

Life can change really quickly. One day you’re smashing life, works going well and training improving. Then the next day you’re back in the hospital and booking doctors’ appointments for the next coming month. Well, that’s what happened to me. It feels like I struggle to be healthy for more than a couple of weeks! It’s incredibly frustrating. It was all going so well (as I said in my last blog!) I was working hard, squatting my heart out and starting to feel like I was getting much stronger. Even my runs were getting faster! Then all of a sudden I was working and I lost feeling in the left-hand side of my body. My blood clot leg was aching and I was standing like a flamingo. Reaching for my inhaler to try and mask the pain. This pain is different from before. It’s not sharp it’s like a dull ache. It even effects my arm. Both limbs just go dead, there’s no other way to describe the sensation. This is the third time I’ve had this happen to me since my clots in September. It’s quite scary. It’s hard not to think “Hello clots are back in town!” But this time I thought it was only sensible to go to the hospital to get it sorted and hopefully to put my mind at rest. I send my parents the text they’re so used to receiving nowadays. “Hey, have you got any plans tonight? I need to go to the hospital again lol.” My parents and I are experienced hospital goers now. We pop home so I can get my laptop so I can crack on with some work whilst waiting to be seen and we pack a feast of snacks and 2 litres of water for the evening.

At the hospital I was more scared that my clots were back that I didn’t even think that losing feeling in the whole left side of my body was anything to worry about. I waited in the waiting room with my Dad, in what felt like the hottest room known to man. It felt like I was in a sauna! But the long wait did mean I managed to write two more pages of the book that I’m writing and I finished a promo video for work! After three hours, I was called in and I absolutely loved the doctor who saw me. He was so knowledgeable and he looked like a nutty professor who kept swearing and used an Ikea tape measure to measure my calves to see if they were swollen. He reassured me that I’m clot free, and that basically my leg will continue to hurt for the foreseeable future because in clots terms it’s still early days. It was funny because he said that he sees the same people every week because they are so paranoid their clots have come back (Glad it wasn’t just me lol). It just shows how awful the experience is when you get a clot. The paranoia consumes you. At this point, I decided to myself to let the fear of getting clots again go. Otherwise it’ll only affect me and will always be in the back of mind. And that’s not healthy for anyone! As I was about to get up and leave, he then proceeded to talk about my body numbness. Turns out it’s not normal lol! I basically need to have tests to find out why I keep losing feeling in my left side. Hopefully it is something as innocent as a migraine without the headache! But they want to double check that the medication I was on for the clots hasn’t affected me in other ways. So I have a neurology appointment in April. I’m mixing it up a bit this time though, I’ll be going to Milton Keynes hospital! What fun! I’m a bit scared to have a head scan, but it is what it is and I’ll get through it with a smile on my face.

I’ll be honest it’s hard to be positive sometimes. I’ve really struggled this week. The knock backs are hard to keep taking. Its feels like I’m mentally stronger than my body. I’m ready to push on in life and training. But it’s like my body can’t keep up. So for now all I can do is be patient. I live in hope that my stubborn determination to never give up and my bounce back ability will pay off at some point!

One thought on “Patience Is A Virtue

  • Just had an email pop up with your latest blog, I love your humour in a crisis, makes it sound like that if you don’t laugh you’d cry. So sorry to hear you are unwell and had a real scare, thank god it was a scare and I’m sure we’d all feel jumpy if we’d gone through your experience. I hope your test come back clear and it’s just a long road to recovery. My daughter is a nurse at Milton Keynes hospital but works on A&E. Thank god for your parents and a kind dad, Danny is a wonderful man. Best wishes to you and big hugs 🤗

    Liked by 1 person

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